Those of you who know me know that I LOVE to talk. As a teacher, facilitator, and coach, there are days when I talk for something like 8 hours a day!
Well, as fate would have it, I had a lesson to learn this past week and as a result I lost my voice!
Now, thank goodness I was going away to a retreat and didn’t really need my voice but it was still frustrating as hell!
At first I tried to strain and push until my body just shut me up completely and no sound would come out at all.
Here’s what I learned: Listening is an art and very much a skill.
You see, most of us think we listen when what we are doing is just formulating what we will say when it is our turn to speak. As a result we don’t actually listen. We hear some of what is being said and then we filter, summarize, formulate, and wait to respond.
When you lose your voice and you know that you can’t really respond, a funny thing happens. You actually listen with your whole self.
What happened to me with this kind of empathetic listening was deep connection and the ability to see and hear myself in the person speaking. It created this sense of oneness and deep compassion. I could see them, hear them, and feel them in an authentic way. I found that became so much more sensitive to their experience!
From that space I found myself slowing down my own thoughts and more importantly, slowing down my responses.
Listening In Conversation:
We tend to knee jerk react, even in pleasant conversation. It is our nature as human beings to want to be heard and yet, for real connection, compassion and empathy to happen in an exchange of communication, we have to LISTEN!
Listening To Your Mind:
This listening doesn’t just apply in communication with others. Think about what happens when the chatter in your mind is running a muck and things begin to spin out of control. Are you really listening? No, you are bombarding yourself with a flurry of words!
Listening To Your Body:
How about your body? How often do you just ignore the very clear communication it gives you? You eat something that isn’t good for you, feel lousy and just ignore it. You don’t sleep enough and the next day your body responds with a lack of energy and a short fuse. You push your body to the brink of exhaustion with work and don’t listen to the smaller communication it gives you in the way of little injuries, minor accidents, or a headache. You don’t hear it until you are flat on your ass with a full blown illness, a major injury that takes you out of the game, or worse yet, a chronic debilitating disease. What would happen if you did just pause and really start to listen?
Listening On the Mat:
The beauty of your yoga and meditation practice is that you get to hone in on this skill. That said, even on your yoga mat when you practice, do you actually LISTEN to your teacher, or do you find that you are having a conversation in your head and/or predicting what comes next and ignoring those ever important cues that might take your practice to a new level? Do you listen to your body when it tells you to back off? Do you listen to your breath when you lose sight of it, or do you start panting and pushing through it anyway?
So, here is my challenge to you this week, LISTEN….in everything you do.
When you eat something, wait and listen to the response you get from your body. You might find that you are satiated with less food or that a food you thought was great doesn’t actually agree with you.
When your body is screaming for more sleep, HEAR IT! Go to bed an hour earlier. Turn your computer off and trust that you will be more productive the next day on more rest.
When you are having a conversation with someone, pretend your voice doesn’t work while they are speaking and really see them, hear what they are saying, and feel it as though they were your words. Then, when you want to respond, pause again and think through what you will say again before you actually speak.
Believe, me, it is not always easy and it truly is an art form as much as a skill you can learn. Like anything though, it takes practice.
And while you practice listening this week, know that I am here to LISTEN to you.
There is a time to listen also a time to be heard.
I am here for you. Click Here to connect
From my heart to yours reflectively,
Namaste,
Pegah
